I may have hit the ground running but I’ve also stumbled and grazed my knees

Twelve days ago I was standing at a baggage carousel. Twelve days doesn’t sound like much, but that’s the majority of time I spent in China, getting to know some lovely people, it’s almost two weeks and it’s absolutely flown by!

I didn’t want to get home and let several months go by with me having not a lot to show for it. Scratch that — I VERY much wanted to spend several weeks mourning sunshine and the frequent use of my passport, while drowning my sorrows in carbohydrates, OBVIOUSLY, I’m human! But I have something of a gift for wasting time, and wasting time is basically the opposite of exercise; feels lovely while you’re doing it but bloody awful afterwards. With this in mind, my better self got to work; I e-mailed the flexible staffing people at the hospital to let them know when I would be back, I made appointments with dentists and hairdressers and looked for jobs and writing competitions. The result is that I start a job on Monday (admin at my local hospital, in the X Ray department. I sense disappointment when I realise that I won’t be having coffee breaks with the funnybones family), and that I now have a fringe which allows people to see my eyes.

People keep saying ‘bet it feels rubbish to be back!’ but it really doesn’t. I had a few days of feeling tired and out of sorts, and yes, job applications are overwhelming because I feel more scared and less capable than I did when I was in exotic sunny places. When David Cameron formed a majority government, I finally allowed myself to have a little cry. BUT. I’m back with the people who love me, and five month’s worth of evidence says I AM capable. Slightly ditzy and prone to panicking, but capable 😛 After months of grand adventures, I’m enjoying the little things again — hugs, tapwater, having all my books and clothes back, coffee that actually tastes nice! Maybe the novelty will wear off soon but right now, I’m pretty happy 😀

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